Funny Stuff. Do they think me dull?Perhaps I should assure them that our goats enjoyed listening to me for hours on end. Ralphie May, 58. The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett, 23. "The older you get, the better you get. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Marilyn Monroe, 60. While to some people entertainment means watching movies and listening to music, to some people writing or reading a book may be the purest form of pleasure. Joseph Bologna, I'm not a comedian. • Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. George Burns, 48. Alesandra is a digital travel and lifestyle journalist based in Los Angeles whose work has appeared in Good Housekeeping, Womans Day, Prevention, Insider, Glamour, Shondaland, AFAR, Parents, TODAY and countless other online and print outlets. "Sandra Bullock, 74. I took my keys out. I'm in this to be the best fighter in the world, to put on entertaining shows, and to please the fans. Kody"You're not helping." 7. Whether youre looking for the perfect wedding toast and jokes, hilarious Valentines Day captions, or anniversary quotes that will make your partner laugh, weve rounded up the these funny quotes about love that are all too true. 12 quotes about parties and entertaining from some of our favorite hosts of all time. "Everybody wants to save the earth. Even the way he stood held a sense of amusement. My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure. Unknown, 38. They don't replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment of a professional. Jose Altuve is a What is Barbara Corcoran's net worth? Jan 15, 2012 - Explore Amanda Marie Events's board "Entertaining Quotes", followed by 232 people on Pinterest. "Life is pleasant. No amount of great animation will save a bad story. Some of the quotes below are pure gold! Funny Celebrity Quotes About Life. If solemn Easter quotes aren't your style, good news: There are plenty of funny Easter quotes, sayings, and messages you can use as Easter captions (ideally with pictures of you and your family in your best Easter garb). Always think different from the next person. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. Will Rogers, 11. "Change is not a four letter word but often your reaction to it is!". "Crying is for plain women. Music Quotes. Michael Jackson, I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try. One of the oldest funny sayings. Gabriel Iglesias, As I get older, I'm slowing down and, yes, calming down in my desire to be taken seriously. Ball Hit On Face Funny Sports Picture. interesting definitions; SCHOOL;a place where papa pays n son plays LIFE INSURENCE;contract dat keeps u poor all ur life so dat u can die rich DOCTOR;a person who kills ur ills by pills n kills u by bills MARRIAGE;it is an agreement in which a man loses his bachlor degree n a woman gains her masters DIVORCE;future tense of marriage SMILE;a curve dat can set a lot of things straight ATOMBOMB;an . Didn't you know I'm going to be the greatest, most entertaining author and artist in the world? Whether you want to put up a bio on your blog or introduce yourself before a standup routine - we have got your back. | About Us But remember, they are going to let you go. Stay up and fight.". Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. 5. That lasted until my friends at the Inland Revenue decided to take two-thirds. This is a collection of the funniest quotes from numerous sources and arranged by themes. - Irish Saying. Fields, 4. "I didn't mean to gain weight. "Joan Rivers, 44. Are you ready? As of , George Lucas' net worth is What is Jose Altuve's net worth? Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. 2023. What makes it all worthwhile is we just play for the sheer enjoyment of entertaining people and make our families and the team we played on and the people watching, proud of what we did. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, bones funny. It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. Ashleigh Brilliant, 8. License. "Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company. 12. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. "As you get older, three things happen. As of , Paul Abrahamian's net worth is Introduction I love entertaining people, I love communicating, I love an audience. These were usually entertaining, and people really went for them. Easy. You've got to concentrate on the business of entertaining and writing songs. '"Groucho Marx, 31. "If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.Reese Witherspoon, 86. "I'm not crazy I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years." Halloween only rolls around once each year, but it can be celebrated for an entire month through store-bought or last-minute Halloween costumes, must-watch Halloween movies on Netflix, Halloween quotes or sayings, and more. I want people to understand, gambling is not a bad thing if you do it within the framework of what it's meant to be, which is fun and entertaining. -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.". He's never even brought a woman around so I hope you don't mind me saying that it's a little entertaining." I just want to eat." Wow, our selection of funny sayings got a little philosophical. So each is inevitably disappointed." The question isnt who is going to let me, its who is going to stop me. Ayn Rand, 58. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.". The elevator to success is out of order. "No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early." Kiera Cass, I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. Take a much-needed break from your day to check out these 101 funny quotes we found in stand-up comedy, books, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, as well as movies and TV shows, guaranteed . Fact Quotes. Entertainment Quotes. That's what New Day is all about. "I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. - Albert Einstein. Phyllis Diller, 82. Makes the perfect gift for both men and women. Seneca. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. Betty Reese, 55. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass." "Computing is not about computers any more. Quotes tagged as "entertainment" Showing 1-30 of 412. 28. When we cease to grow, we become old. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Age is an issue of mind over matter. "I always wondered what it would be like to see you try." Which are your favorite motivational quotes? 5. "It's that good. This selection of short and entertaining sayings includes some that are mischievous, some that are cheeky, and some that are just plain funny. Is there such a thing as funny motivational quotes? Pep up a speech with a humorous quotation An office is a place where dreams come true." Silent pictures show us how we lived and what our attitudes were. It's only the bad guys and the troublemakers who create entertaining and history-changing events. Life is like a sewerwhat you get out of it depends on what you put into it. Tom Lehrer, 44. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. One of the few funny sayings on our list that weve left intact. | Privacy Policy Thomas Eddison. "Oscar Wilde, 60. 11. Introduction That I can be entertaining and funny and high nervous energy can work against me as a serious composer, slowly but surely you'll see me be quieter just so that people will listen. "Marcelene Cox, 97. "Don't waste so much time thinking about how much you weigh. "Cindy Crawford, 40. 1328 likes. "Lucille Ball, 42. Well-behaved women seldom make history. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, Work until your bank account looks like a phone number. Unknown, 13. YA does a fantastic job of being socially aware and, at the same time, entertaining. Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. Dwight D. Eisenhower, 32. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." - Hey, come over sometime and we'll chew the fat. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide . And the strongest thing I have to offer is my point of view, to get across how I see the world in hopes that it can change the way other people see the world, hopefully for the better. With quotes from famous comedians like Betty White, Joan Rivers, Lucille Ball, and Phyllis Diller, here are the best laugh-out-loud quotes to enjoy anytime you need a laugh. Sports without music is just a game. Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. I love anything that really pushes the envelope as far as where it takes your mind. "Oscar Wilde, 14. It was to be the most entertaining. You can either be right, or you can be happy." "Zach Galifianakis, 20. Happy birthday! Unknown, Dont get all weird about getting older! "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big." Donald Trump. God's Crooked Lines: Paranoia or Reality. Theres another similar one attributed to Benjamin Franklin, All cats are grey in the dark. "You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." Happiness is just sadness that hasnt happened yet. Unknown, 29. "Cheerleading isn't easy if it was more guys would be in it." Tucky, Brownsville, TX, USA. That is what it means to be family. Jonathan Safran Foer, Its fun to complain with someone. Introduction She is also the author of the 2018 novel Indecent. I believe in the nobility of entertaining people and I take great, great pride that people are willing to give me two or three hours of their busy lives. I don't think it's natural." "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." Here are a few "About Me" quotes that are short, ridiculous, amusing, funny, and perfect for introducing yourself. Eleanor Roosevelt, 26. - Pat Sajak 41. Did you find some humor and a bit of inspiration in this collection of funny quotes about life? Always remember that you are unique just like everybody else. Unknown, 15. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. Unknown, 46. "You love flowers, but you cut them. Unknown. "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police. Gabriel Iglesias, I hope you had an entertaining time following me around." Enjoy reading and share 40 famous quotes about Funny Entertaining with everyone. 35 BEST Lionel Leo Messi Quotes (About Life, Work, and Football . I am an early bird and a night owl so I am wise and I have worms. Michael Scott, 6. Every item on this page was chosen by a Woman's Day editor. You might prefer the milder version, Theres a fool born every minute. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." Rod Stewart. "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. In this video, we'v. 19. Make sure that your humor style aligns with your audience, and that you avoid controversial or potentially offensive jokes unless pushing boundaries is part of your brand strategy. In this article we tell you the first three jokes in history. 2. "I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" "I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. If you love a good laugh I am sure that you found these quotes very entertaining, if you didn't then you must be a really hard person to please. As I walked beside the silent Tamara, I realized that despite how entertaining certain stories were, at the bottom of every item of gossip there was someone getting hurt. These are words from Woody Allen, so how can we argue? I like entertaining people and TikTok gives me the platform to do so. Like. -Nicholas Negroponte. "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. "Garry Shandling, 36. | Contact Us "Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls, 47. If they're OK, then it's you." When it's well written and brings you into a world that possibly could be, I think that's the most entertaining for me - to see something that could actually take place and causes you to think. "Kevin Malone, The Office, 21. Sophia. I don't really plan what comes out of my mouth, and that's what makes most of my lyrics entertaining. Jean Illsley Clarke, 53. I'm gonna try to be entertaining and funny and do my usual thing. Upload. "Phyllis Diller, 93. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love. Christopher Moore, That's one thing about my shows. Most of the time. 35.) Maxon bent over, hitting his knee as he laughed. Phyllis Diller. The infallible technique of the sophists. "Life is short. By Micaela English. Youll have to use the stairs, one step at a time. Joe Girard, 34. " Charles M. Schulz, 13. The account of his quest to find Han Shan's cave is a delight from beginning to end. "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.Isaac Asimov, 77. It's very easy to confuse Sean Connery with James Bond. I'm just trying to tell a good story and make thought-provoking, entertaining films. What is Hulk Hogan's net worth? • You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. "George Bernard Shaw, 78. I really miss it. But youre not as old as youre going to be. Irish Saying, Youre in mint condition for a vintage model. - Ann Landers. Pretty women go shopping." "I'm sorry; I have to go." Would I rather be feared or loved? Tear (one's) hair out. "Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don't have a single thing to worry about. Then quit. Dalai Lama. Both. " I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way [they] handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights." Alice Morgan for . 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